revive this
Transcend to this.


Embrace this.

fire behind her eyelids.

I've reached for you,
I'm gasping in the incomprehensible wind.
And ill let you carry me.
I'll let you sweep me,
and bring me to places i can't even control.


almost nothing and everything is coming together all at once.
daring to travel into the mystery, unlatching myself from all compasses and hinges and diving deep into the abyss that is God. this jump, this journey will cost me.

I see him in every place i go. evident in every moment, felt in every drop of relaxed air. like fingertips


I can sense him on my skin, and feel him under my eyelids when i sleep. I can feel him within my brain, and if I gaze intensely ahead.
I quickly close my eyes as if not to unveil what Im not ready to see..
I'd rather keep it safe, under white sheets, locked only to be exposed as a mystery.

It is only till his hands uncover what is meant to be viewed by my own eyes, at that moment I'll be ready.
I am experiencing this God in ever-changing, all- encompassing, unorthodox, and overwhelming ways.

usually id be kind, gentle, and polite to not say, but I'd pity the one not willing to take the jump.

You will never know life as we were meant to see it.
even with our eyes closed. dead in the body, but alive in the soul.

ask yourself, how would you like to experience the eternal?
of heaven on earth.
of complete nirvana, of unending bliss.

now is the time.

"where, except in the present, can the eternal be met"-cslws

I've reached this place in my life where the unknown doesnt scare me.
And there is only One source, ..for the eternal.

dreaming & chasing.

Rewind a few months from this moment or two years, and you would find a girl silently sheltered around the world that she thought she always wanted to know.
Wrapped tightly and falsely shrouded around an unknowingly suffocating mind.
sometimes, I feel like I am grabbing at the seams, holding and scraping the door posts of a door I must walk through, out of a room already too small and dilapidated to begin to live in again.

I look back from the door post, and all i see is littered and uncomfortable walls of people, places, pictures, and moments of things I no longer used to know. I look distastefully back at those photos, those fragments and false facades of the moments I thought .

And a pain grips and stings my heart.
Holding & living with Ghosts only meant to haunt & hold you from your future is only a debilitating thought of the Enemy. An ugly, silent- deceptive force. That wants nothing more, than to steal your joy. intrinsically & in small doses.
That's why i must go.

That's why I feel the sting, and the harsh pain of the vines and the weeds pulling me from it. This maniacal smile and laugh. A glare in his eyes that is so maddening, it makes me want to trust Him more. And then Im gone. And, with one swift move: I am out in the open.
Complete and alone, separated from the things that no longer can haunt or harm me.

The building where the room was housed, has burned down. So much so, that even the charred pictures of the photographs are blackened to a state where there is no possible recollection of the past any longer.

And the ones I hold dear, are written upon my mind and heart. Portable enough to take with me, transitory enough, to give them room to grow.

real Love grows..
& tender hearts grow with them.

For all those I love: those following your dreams. chase it. and believe it.
As one maniacally chasing the Light.
And let it surround you. & over encompass you.
unswervingly.

speak en cinema.

I've decided that i will articulate the rest of my thoughts,
in cinema.
music videos, particularly.

decipher.



today:

feeling this way for quite a few days.
strange.


&

in response to my prev. post below this one.
*sigh*

its ironic.

its worth waiting. & hold urself back.

i feel this way.
it can kill at times.
but i know,

Patience is a beautiful thing.



there is just too much to lose, if not.

V. day

Ahem.

Seduction is a lie.
Lust is a trap.

Love should never be the one to kill, hurt, and maim You ..to make you believe its not
worth wanting.

(example1)

.

(example2)

Please,..
be careful how you treat each other...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been contemplating a lot lately, of the whole aspect, of love. unrelenting, unselfish, selfless, extravagant love in relationships.

And ill admit,
I am not one to easily be swayed as much, w. this whole "aspect".
I just know real love when I see it.
(and i only want the best.)

I had both the privilege & pain,.. to stand by two friends of mine, going through a "rehabilitating" time from:..a heart-wrenching relationship.

*( I have yet, to redefine the word "relationship".
I don't think I can ever use that term loosely again.)

I don't think, many people ever stop to think these days.
just what happens, when two people
... come together.

Its just a lot deeper, than we ever thought or expected.

good & bad.

then, your whole perspective changes.
maybe people that suffered before us, knew better than we thought.

(song of songs 2:7)
(1 Cor. 13)


Oh.

and I added a new quote today.