Thursday, March 12, 2009

dreaming & chasing.

Rewind a few months from this moment or two years, and you would find a girl silently sheltered around the world that she thought she always wanted to know.
Wrapped tightly and falsely shrouded around an unknowingly suffocating mind.
sometimes, I feel like I am grabbing at the seams, holding and scraping the door posts of a door I must walk through, out of a room already too small and dilapidated to begin to live in again.

I look back from the door post, and all i see is littered and uncomfortable walls of people, places, pictures, and moments of things I no longer used to know. I look distastefully back at those photos, those fragments and false facades of the moments I thought .

And a pain grips and stings my heart.
Holding & living with Ghosts only meant to haunt & hold you from your future is only a debilitating thought of the Enemy. An ugly, silent- deceptive force. That wants nothing more, than to steal your joy. intrinsically & in small doses.
That's why i must go.

That's why I feel the sting, and the harsh pain of the vines and the weeds pulling me from it. This maniacal smile and laugh. A glare in his eyes that is so maddening, it makes me want to trust Him more. And then Im gone. And, with one swift move: I am out in the open.
Complete and alone, separated from the things that no longer can haunt or harm me.

The building where the room was housed, has burned down. So much so, that even the charred pictures of the photographs are blackened to a state where there is no possible recollection of the past any longer.

And the ones I hold dear, are written upon my mind and heart. Portable enough to take with me, transitory enough, to give them room to grow.

real Love grows..
& tender hearts grow with them.

For all those I love: those following your dreams. chase it. and believe it.
As one maniacally chasing the Light.
And let it surround you. & over encompass you.

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