"Most people think models live such a glamorous life and make a shit
load of money. It’s really not like that. Travels can be exhausting,
you’re running around the city and you’re basically always in a rush.
People expect you to look and feel great every day and then there is the
waiting: Waiting at the airport to get on the plane, waiting for the
metro, waiting in line at the casting with 200 guys ahead, waiting 3h
for the show to start, waiting to finally get paid, waiting for the
option to get confirmed, waiting for the magazine to come out, waiting
to get home to see your family and friends again after months away."
and all I wanted was this..
i closed my eyes tightly till everything inside me
was darkened to a shrouded glow,
and all i wanted,
was to dissipate and let Him reside..
i just wanted it to last forever.
...I believe in intimacy.
not just with people or men..but just with intimacy ...
Intimacy in speaking...
Intimacy in listening ..
in painting..in tasting..
in the silences in between.
in the substantial and saturated;
it is like intently watching the illimitable fountain of youth for it to outpour.
waiting till it bubbles up and flows,
meticulously cradling every drop,
as if every moment of what you knew in the past was gone.
and Every new moment by this very taste of the future budded into
innumerable New beginnings.
....this is how it feels like.
I realized, i dont want to waste my emotions and fervor on things with punctured
holes and back-door entrances.
I want to funnel it into everything full.
in between the lines.