(close to warm my eyes)

i took communion today...

..and I really meant it.

...I closed my eyes  and all I saw was Him

and all I wanted was this..
i closed my eyes tightly till everything inside me
was darkened to a shrouded glow,
and all i wanted,
was to dissipate and let Him reside..
i just wanted it to last forever.

...I believe in intimacy.

not just with people or men..but just with intimacy ...

Intimacy in speaking...

Intimacy in listening ..

in painting..in tasting..

in everything..

in the silences  in between.
in the substantial and saturated;
preserved moments..

it is like intently watching the illimitable fountain of youth for it to outpour.
waiting till it bubbles up and  flows,
meticulously cradling every drop,
as if every moment of what you knew in the past was gone.
and Every new moment by this very taste of the future budded into
innumerable New beginnings.

....this is how it feels like.

I realized, i dont want to waste my emotions and fervor on things with punctured
holes and back-door entrances.

I want to funnel it into everything  full.
vivid
 and satisfying;
 feel it
fill me,
 in between the lines.