Friday, October 15, 2010

..i watched silently as...you buried yourself alive.

(10/12 • soho gallery cafe • chilly day... set out a cataclysm of thoughts. this is the pent up.)

(this is not some movie , to create interstitial acceptance into the social structure
among the creatives.
all things lead to something. everything is symbolic. this leads to that. everything is an extension of.)

i’m not quite sure what to make of this
i’m not quite sure how to feel... about this.

..why does it still... quake.. inside of me.
dear God, i can’t help but feel unnerved.. unraveled.. and baffled.. by how our interaction is still intertwined and strong- through out the sphere scape.
..our human connection reverberates.
..I’m scared of all that he has tried to become to me.
..i’m encompassingly intrigued it might have worked.

...i wonder if he could ever feel it too.
i wonder if i’ve gotten ‘inside' him somehow.
touched a nerve,
hit an emblem,
so.. every movement , strings new sound waves within him.

physical closeness .. physical implications, physical barriers ...mean nothing to me.
they say, with the absence of one.. it makes way, gives rise, heightens all the others.

..maybe it’s my imagination...maybe i’m just becoming more and more allured and disillusioned by my phantom thoughts.

“two minds and all the places they have been” 
- stateless
(rises through my headphones, at this moment)

...maybe i just want to continue to feel him throughout the atmosphere..
..maybe .. i just want to keep him warm.

maybe i just want to find a true (home) for him... outside and ...across borders.

...maybe, there is a place we could (both) travel to ...without moving.

..maybe, one of us has visited that place before inside ourselves...longing for the others presence to be there,.. because that’s how it all started in the first place.

i wonder if he feels it too.
 i wonder if he likes the fear of it.

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