Thursday, February 11, 2010
[music time capsule]
it's very interesting how music can automatically transfer you back to a certain moment in your life. I was rummaging through my glove compartment box today, with a moment of flurry, subconsciously thought that i threw out all of my physical cds to convert my car to solely digital ...until i came across one blank cd, hidden between the folds of envelopes. without a title or mark of description to pin point it's familiarity,.. my curiosity and intrigue were brimming as i decided to pop this mysterious cd in. ...with a bit of recklessness, i decided to skip to any random track ahead instead of letting it play it's full course. immediately, my car filled with sounds of a moment in time and an ache came to the pit of my stomach and a flushed warmth ran across my temples and my face. i started to feel shortness of breath and i , driving down 50mph down a unknown road in maitland, was no longer there but somewhere else. i felt as if i was staring into a portal straight ahead as the music began to influence my reality and bring it into complete control. suddenly, i was no longer in my car by myself trying to make it to an appointment, but... i was sitting in the car with him. or staring into his eyes on dimly lit road as conversation, moment, and gaze was overwhelmingly relived. it was both a pleasurable and torturous experience as the cd began to play ruthlessly. i felt as if he was still there with me, i can picture his gaze and the shift in atmosphere from his breathing.. it was so tangible as the notes reminded me of the heartache, pain, and stress he caused. it's so funny how music has a way of always remembering. and, if you're like me, feel so impassioned by it's ability, that it transports you to a place when that song was the ink to your unwritten journal page. skipping through, track by track, i was able to see that this unnamed cd was a recollection of what i could one day show to others what exactly was plaguing my mind in that scenario. the lyrics, the sadness, the melodies, the highs and lows all had very deeply revealing and intensified meanings. it was strange to look at myself now in the future opening a window to who i was then by the sound of a song. coming from that experience of what that soundtrack was a witness of, i will never think of that situation the same way again. and i am thankful, i've left it.