find me here.

i want to be in the midst of strangers,

on a train ride with you.

in our ears a metaphysic soundtrack will be playing,

that only the two of us can reverberate through the retinas

back to each other.

rebel vein

hours of this will start to skew your perception..

lone wolf.

isolation has done great wonders for me.

I've gone into many mind warps and fed my heart, mind, and Spirit profusely.. what more could i ever ask for?

because i've been able to start spinning plates, my current up keeps have left me satisfied and still reeling..
thank you Jesus

tycho "Coastal Brake"

first vinyl to add to my new collection.

tired eyes, paired with avid hearts

hotel room 3
Originally uploaded by *laky

there's something about a hotel room that seems to bring me a sense of deep familiarity...
i somehow feel more engaged inwardly and in the weightiness of the atmosphere. i am able to see with a downtempo, blurred vision in all it's dimness..the reflections of being able to face myself.
even in my solitary times alone in a hotel bed, i was never really asleep. I was soaking up the atmosphere and readjusting my purpose in a new surrounding. I think my body likes being in new and unfamiliar places. especially as something so temporary as a hotel room.
i get the sense that important, heartfelt moments will happen in these few hours of a make shift home..
..maybe, with others it's having to fabricate a somewhat temporary family in those few hours, that makes it all the more encompassing.
we've all been locked and tucked together in this comfortable room, with nothing but the necessities, dream-like sheets set to the stimulation of deep conversation, (the option of) the tv set turned down to a low drone; making it seem like the walls were meant for ears, and a coffee pot used for tea . and in this make shift home, with beds meant to swallow us into complacency,...the interactions of atoms between life stories start to unfold.

i like the idea of beds never meant to sleep in. just lying in them while your eyes weigh in and out as you fight off the sleep, just because you want to soak in the last moments with these people you'll probably never get the privilege to again.

some of my best moments were spent in hotel rooms. always with people, I carried a deep sense of love and admiration for..i seem to never forget the emotion and intrinsic connection reacting invisibly between us in the silence. in those last few moments before drifting in and out into sleep. ..where they and I were at our most vulnerable state. and in this state, we trusted each other to fall asleep, as if we grew up like siblings sharing the same room.

..i still remember the stillness of the air. the gentle waking to a quiet morning, and...the hidden melancholy knowing the last moments with them were coming down to an end, set to a check-out date.

and in the corners of my mind, i've revisited and made emblems and waves to the memories of this. the instances when we met in such a transitory -permanent- state.

Brothers on a Hotel Bed - Deat...

once they see you're a fraud, you could never go back to it's elasticity and potency.. because it was never really your's to begin with. all that was you, was meant to be stretched anyway. and every being has it's time under the sun, until the resiliency of their young minds give way and then they are left back into the fetal state. who are they then? what is breathing but the dancing of atoms residing in recycled air of ghosts that walked this earth, long ago past. only to disatisfyingly have their life stories repeated in another young man's body who thinks he holds the world on his shoulders, like atlas.. are they all broken kings and self-proclaimed wise-man? for the truly wise do not even think themselves wise, and the wisdom they attain should bring them to their knees more so than give them a broadened exterior. ..
and who will Listen to a voice calling in the storm and a light shining in the dark if the darkness all but seems light to them? their eyes have adusted and they've gone into dementia, where white is now black, and snow is sunshine and spring.

will this be enough to suffice their minds to a challenge? ..because that's all they really want right? ..a challenge. to prove their self worth, and maybe to ease their own hunger for self-importance. or maybe even to prove that they are alive.

that's all they ever really need right..

if we go down to the very root of things, past the portions where intellect creates a stable exterior, we are all born with uncanny and uncontrollable desires, that we- even ourselves are afraid to admit we like and still hate. it's a fierce secret, a pacified inner life, that causes our spirit, body and soul to divide in a way which causes each of it's own 'philosophies' to contradict themselves.

i like the moments of silence. when no one is watching, but i am.